spectral-bargheist:

massivelimestonecube:

massivelimestonecube:

massivelimestonecube:

??? someone broke into my grandmas house while she was gone & shaved the matted fur off her cat

i want to emphasize that the cat was the only thing altered here

would also like to add that this occcurred sometime between 11 pm & 9 am. we have no leads. the cat is fine & probably appreciates not having a huge mat on his neck, but, like, that’s a really weird kind of vigilante justice, still

chaotic good

venake:

deleting your vent post 3 minutes after compulsively writing it

ficcyshit:

funnystories:

i failed the first quarter of a class in middle school, so I made a fake report card. i did this every quarter that year. i forgot that they mail home the end-of-year cards, and my mom got it before I could intercept with my fake. She was PISSED - at the school for their error. the teacher also retired that year and had already thrown out his records, so they had to take my mother’s “proof” (the fake ones i made throughout the year) and “correct” the “mistake.” i’ve never told her the truth

I love how OP fucked up so hard that their attempts to fix it should have led to the ass-whooping of a lifetime, but, through an entire SERIES of ridiculous circumstances and UNBELIEVEABLE LUCK, it all worked out better than expected. OP is a fucking protag in a kids’ show, what in the

fuck.

cephalopodcourse:

good i hope it gets worse for you and you end up getting hit by a bus

kirbyhatespedos:

Whether gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, etc. if you’re any kind of pedophile, which does in fact include all flavors of “MAP,” you’re not part of the LGBT+ community.

The LGBT+ community is already collectively stigmatized as child molesters and child rapists. The stigma is not justified and never should be. The LGBT+ community is full of children, and it always will be. Pedophiles put the lives, well-being, and safety of children at risk every moment of every day they continue to exist, and they don’t belong here. They do not belong in a community that is meant to protect and embrace the parts of us that really are harmless, unchangeable, and beautiful. Wanting to abuse, molest, and rape minors is not harmless, it is not unchangeable, and it is most certainly not beautiful. To be proud of a part of yourself that puts the most innocent of human lives in active danger is disgusting, vile, and dangerous. Pedophiles have never belonged in the LGBT+ community, do not currently belong in the LGBT+ community, and never will belong in the LGBT+ community.

shabootyisland:

iamoutofideas:

macklemorehentai:

dongstomper:

trailerparkhardcore:

lycoteuthis:

so this dude invented “a device” to help shy dudes pee in public restrooms

except it’s literally just a crushed velvet cape with suction cups on the hem

Suction warlock

don the piss robe

+6 stealth
-8 charisma

pisslord

it took two fucking years but i finally found piss cloak again

do-you-have-a-flag:

diarkis:

guys lmao I went back to watch some old law and order svu episodes and there’s this one scene where a girl claims her alibi is she went to see the phantom of the opera and to confirm whether or not she’s telling the truth the detective goes, ‘oh yeah I love phantom of the opera it’s so sad when the guy goes to prison for stealing bread’ and the girl AGREES and later he’s telling his partner ‘yeah she’s lying there’s no bread in phantom’